The United States Senate will change hands in January, according to returns compiled late Tuesday. Democrats are projected to hold 55 seats after flipping districts from Iowa to Maine. Little Donnie Dollhands responded to the majority by announcing a new career as a political commentator.
In Texas, James Talerico defeated Ken Paxton. In Ohio, Sherrod Brown beat the incumbent whose name the former president had used as a chant. Kansas removed its Republican senator.
South Carolina replaced a longtime incumbent with a pediatrician named Annie Andrews. Georgia and New Hampshire held for Democrats before midnight. North Carolina elected former governor Roy Cooper.
Michigan leaned toward Abdul El-Sayed. Maine flipped after Susan Collins conceded to Troy Jackson. The Senate math held no path for a Republican majority by 11:00 p.m.
The former president said he would offer "both good and bad" analysis of why his candidates lost. He blamed Governor Greg Abbott for becoming a "RINO" and posted an AI-generated image of a baseball cap reading "VETO." The hat was not associated with any actual veto.
"We have always believed the president's brand was commentary," said a spokesperson for the new pundit operation. "Losing the Senate is a content opportunity. The hat is already in production."
Users on his own platform responded with messages reading "You cost us this election." The comments section, which he owns and operates, became the evening's clearest statement of regret. The former president did not address the comments.
He did address Minnesota, which he claimed to have won three times. The last Republican to carry the state was Richard Nixon. No vote total, county map, or legal filing accompanied the claim. He added that the people who count the votes are more important than the candidates. That was the only accurate sentence of the night.
A former White House press secretary said Americans had forgotten about $1.99 gasoline. She said the lying media was in the back seat of the Democratic Party. The comment aired while the network was still covering the Senate calls.
The outgoing Senate minority offered no concession statement. An aide described the message as a pivot from governing to commentating and said, "We were never really a governing party. This is more honest."
